Loss of Faith

So many times I’ve heard people pull away from Christianity due to a resentment in YHWH, or because they feel betrayed. When I first began questioning Catholicism, I had the same sort of sentiments—how could a perfect, loving god allow such cruelty and violence? How could they sit and watch, while so much suffering is going on in the world?

What I find interesting is that most pagans don’t follow suit when faced with similar predicaments. If a prayer goes unheard, they don’t (for the most part) lose faith and stop worshipping their gods.

I can’t speak for all pagans on why this appears to be so, but I can say from my own experiences why I find it easier to forgive my patron for watching from the sidelines as I struggle, moreso than the god I was taught to trust all throughout my childhood.

“Let go and let god” seems to be a popular phrase amongst those of the Christian faith, and my own family likes to use a similar sentiment. This was the core tenant of my catholic upbringing—to literally surrender my destiny and place my trust in god.

Now, this god was asking for a shit-ton of trust and blind faith—but I couldn’t place my faith in a god who wasn’t fixing what I saw as being wrong with the world. Instead, he was allowing such injustices and inhumanities as murder and rape to happen, turning a blind eye those that were suffering.

But its not like Lucifer was stopping these things from happening as well. He doesn’t cause hurt and suffering, despite what many say, but neither does he rid the world of them. How does that make him any different, any more worthy of honor and respect?

Lucifer doesn’t claim to be perfect. He doesn’t ask for blind faith, and he certainly doesn’t want me to go running to him with every problem I may have. The way I see it, YHWH wants humanity to turn to him and ask to be saved, but Lucifer…he wants humanity to save itself.

“It is the greatest of tragedies that brings out the best in mankind. It is the utmost adversity under which humanity flourishes best” (paraphrased from here)

This is the reason I am able to forgive Lucifer for watching as I struggle to keep my head above water, for leaving prayers unanswered, for watching as humanity inflicts cruelties upon itself.

But I’m curious to hear what others have to say concerning this particular phenomenon, of losing faith in god/god(s) when their help is needed the most.


6 thoughts on “Loss of Faith

  1. lokisdatter says:

    What is the point of living if there’s nothing to fight for? If the powers that be solved all our problems, it’s be an awfully boring life indeed.
    I don’t believe in purely benevolent gods. I believe in natural laws, equilibrium, and balance. After all, medium levels of disturbance and destruction in an environment leads to the highest levels of biodiversity. Life flourishes under moderate amounts of adversity. Challenges and dreams give us something to live for. Dreams cannot exist if there is nothing to dream of, and how could we truly love something, anything, if we loved them because they were perfect, and not because of their whole nature- flaws, beauty and all? A perfect god would be a hollow god indeed.

    • lokisdatter says:

      And I always find it pathetic that people pray to God at football games and endlessly sing “God Bless America,” as if we aren’t blessed enough. It’s wonderful to have faith and wish well upon your nation, but really, the McDonald’s approach to spirituality- easy, mindless, fit for mass consumption- is laughable at best, and quite sad at worst. Does the fate of your sports team really require God’s attention? But who knows. Maybe Yahweh’s a Skins fan. I know I am.

  2. mercydoll says:

    With Yahweh, I just always reject Him. Half of that was because of how His followers are acting. I had more negativity with Christians than anyone really. So that kinda ruins His reputation for me. In college, many Christians I do have a deep respect for. Even though I am not returning to His arms, I will least keep somethings in mind.

    With the Gods I work with, they are opposite to each Other in a way. With Lilith, She rather I solve my own problems and She only helps when I ask Her (but when it comes to protection, She told me to be “confident” that I will be taken care of). There are no other expectations. But if there is a dire emergency or if somethings need to be thrown out in my life, that’s when She comes in. With Sam, sometimes He helps me a bit more, but still I have to ask Him in some situations. Both don’t want me to always go to them for my problems, but They do listen at least. They don’t always respond to my prayers and that’s ok with me. I am used to relying on myself most of the time.

    I think the only way I would lose faith is the day that I lose my trust in the Gods.

  3. Aubs Tea says:

    As a child, I never was led to believe that I should put ultimate faith in God. I think this is mostly due to the fact that I didn’t have a specific core tenet that was preached to/at me. I went to various churches over the years–Catholic, Methodist, Baptist, etc.–in an effort to let God prove Himself to me. I didn’t jive with the blind faith act. He never proved Himself to me and I was fine with that. I moved on.

    With the gods that have my attention now, I rarely ask them for help. I think a part of this stems from watching my mother having to do all things on her own. I feel that to ask for help, a lot of the time, is to show weakness and an inability to grow as is needed. Just like my mother, I hardly cry and hate it when I do. (Even though, as a woman, I know that sometimes, you just need a good cry.)

    Sekhmet both approves and disapproves of this behavior in me. She is a goddess of healing, but she is also power, personified. She likes the fact that I am trying to get there on my own because it shows cunning and willpower and brute strength. However, there are things that I can’t seem to fix on my own and she’d prefer it if I turned to her with these issues. I just am having a difficult time letting go. It’s a lesson she and I are working on together.

  4. arienwen says:

    I find it interesting when you mention that Pagans don’t necessarily throw up their hands when prayers go unanswered. Because I was like that when I was a hardcore Catholic. I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong, why God was ignoring me. But when I turned to the Pagan faith I was like, “okay, sometimes even the Gods can’t wave a magic wand and everything will be alright.”

    I actually just mentioned to someone earlier today (and to myself as I was doing it) that the Gods can only bring you so far (i.e. me asking Hermes to help me get a new job) I actually had to go out and put the effort in in order for that to happen.

    I guess I just find it interesting my two conflicting thoughts on the matter. Catholic: I must have done something wrong…Pagan: what I asked for might not be good for me/I need to put more work in for it to happen.

  5. I once asked Lucifer the same question. His answer was “i cannot help those who are not mine” meaning, that he cannot reach those who don’t know him, aren’t open to him. I believe this is true with all the gods. And why am I (maybe you too, without knowing it) mad to Yahveh, is that most of the people in the world do believe in Christian/Islam/Jewish god, and that god COULD help. He just chooses not to. The more pain humans face, the more they pray to God. And he likes that attention. If everything would be allright, would humans pray anymore? Believe?

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