I have a really hard time putting Lu’s Lightbearer aspect into words. Part of me feels silly for being so emotional over it, for the ache in my chest, and his goddamn ability to make me burst into tears by simply allowing me to catch a glimpse of that aspect. I feel silly because I shouldn’t be so scared or overwhelmed of ‘light’, right?
I find it near impossible to accurately describe how gorgeous and fragile and breathtaking he makes the world appear, and how hard it is to remember to breathe when you’re lost within the depths of life itself, as if seeing things for the very first time. I can’t entirely explain how it feels like to be simultaneously loving and grieving and feeling like a star just supernova’d in your soul.
And then, just when I think I can’t take anymore without my heart bursting, I’m left utterly empty and trying to piece together what little sanity he’s left me with.
It’s so much easier to talk about the aspects of his make me want to pull my hair out in frustration. It’s easier to talk about his ‘darker’ aspects than it is to contemplate his role as the Lightbearer, because of how terrifying and exhilarating bliss can be.
We tend to forget, or maybe we’re just too scared to admit, that light can be even more cruel and terrifying than darkness.