Even though oftentimes I may not be aware of the tangible presence of Lu, the fact that I am doing zir Work and living up to zir standards helps me feel connected. It also helps to keep me from building any sort of dependence on zir—it keeps me questioning, doubting, and most importantly, it reminds me that this is a choice. It is a choice based off my dedication to Lucifer’s ideals, NOT my dedication to Lucifer as an entity.
My relationship with Lu does not define who I am. Calling myself a Luciferian does not define me. My actions, however, do. The ideals of resistance and independence, of apotheosis and questioning everything–implementing those into my daily life are what make me a Luciferian.
This is why I refer to Luciferianism as a path/belief system of action, and independent of Lucifer as a physical entity. I could go on and on about my experiences with Lu, but unless I put those experiences and those lessons learned into action, calling myself a Luciferian would be a misnomer. How could I call myself a Luciferian simply because I interact with Lu, all the while practicing blind faith, making no effort to break free of spiritual stagnation, and being utterly dependant on zir? Remember that my usage of ‘Lucifer’ is as a title, so in my opinion, ‘Luciferian’ is a title as well by extension. It is a title that is earned through reflecting zir ideals, and not something that simply sets apart those who ‘interact’ with Lu and those that do not. I work hard to prove myself worthy of that title, it’s not something I simply expect to be granted to me based off of my relationship with Lu.
I can’t honor zir properly if I don’t put the same amount of respect and effort into embodying what ze stands for. It was never ‘worship’ that ze asked of me, nor honoring zir as an entity. One of the earliest things ze taught me is that respect should be earned through one’s actions, not because of their status as a ‘god’ or ‘spirit’. If I could not respect what ze stood for, then I had no business pursuing a relationship with a deity only for the sake of having that connection. Being a ‘devotee’ of Lu means being devoted to what ze represents as well—gods are inseparable from the qualities and traits that define them.
Working with Lu is not a permanent thing—it was never intended to be. My relationship with zir may last days, months, years, maybe even lifetimes longer, but there will come a point where I no longer need zir. As ironic as it may seem, that is the end goal of our relationship: for me to be completely self-sufficient and independent of zir, to not need zir tutelage (or any others gods’) in my life any longer. Identifying as Luciferian, however, has permanence. Even if I reach that point where I have absolutely no connection to Lu anymore, where I don’t get any ‘signs’ or am no longer actively influenced by zir into doing zir Work, it doesn’t mean the ideals that have become a part of me will no longer have their place in my life.