What was your religion/belief before this? How has it influenced you as a Luciferian/Satanist?
Immediately before, I had considered myself pagan. I don’t think this hard any particular influences on my faith as it is now, except for giving me the freedom to explore Luciferianism and its symbols through multiple perspectives (i.e. Luciferian figures throughout varying pantheons).
But I was raised Catholic, up until my first communion. This has perhaps impacted my faith in a much more significant manner, since it was the resentment I held against Catholicism that led me to Luciferianism in the first place, and it was Catholicism I was led back to through my devotion to Lucifer. I was forced to face those long-standing hostilities and confront my own bitter reasons for them, and in doing so I came to find a deep beauty within my birth religion once I was able to see past the judgments that clouded my perception. I also found Lightbearers in the most unlikely of figures—Lightbearers I would eventually come to love and respect.
What drew you to this path? How long have you been on it?
I’ve been on this path approximately ten years now. I felt that the philosophies behind Luciferianism were ones I could and already did value to some extent. However, beyond all the theoretical ideals and overall pragmatism that I connected with in the belief system, there was something else that resonated with me that felt different than any other religion I had dipped my toes into thus far.
I had this intense need to find out everything I could, not only about Luciferianism itself but also any Luciferian figures (at the time, my research concentrated on mostly the Abrahamic Lucifer figure and Prometheus from greek mythos). I had never been so highly invested in…quite frankly anything, to that same level before. I had tried exploring different pantheons back when I still considered myself pagan, but I always felt bored/apathetic towards these mythos. They never quite clicked, or inspired the same type of fervid attraction. That passionate wildfire has since calmed to a steadfast glow of devotion through the years, more restrained but no less bright.
Are you atheistic, agnostic, or theistic and why?
The short answer: Agnostic.
The long answer: Agnostic, but theistic by choice (Sort of. Maybe.)
I am too much of a skeptic to have total, unwavering confidence in Lucifer as an actual divine entity, and so my faith is rooted in Luciferianism as a practice, and as a set of ideals. It exists as such so that regardless of whether or not my god is able to be proven ‘real’, my faith remains secure and dependable.
However, I have chosen to honor Lucifer as the embodiment of my faith, as a liminal divinity made real (if only through my own thoughts). I have chosen to treat him as a god worthy of my devotion. I have chosen to be his, and I have allowed myself to find comfort in this belief that he exists apart from myself.
But ‘comfort’ is not a term or state of being that can easily find a foothold within Luciferianism. More often than not, it represents a sort of stagnation that inhibits the personal growth this belief system demands. And so, this choice to believe and find stability in the narrative that Lucifer actually exists is one that I must constantly reanalyze and reconstruct. My practice urges me to talk myself out of this belief, to find the weak spots within this narrative and use them to lay the truth bare.
If that wasn’t confusing enough as is, although I realize that it is ultimately my practice that prompts me to seek out these weak areas in my beliefs, I often find myself inspired to do so at each occasion by my god. I end up being challenged to look beyond who I perceive my god to be and what he represents, in forms I don’t think I would have come up with on my own. Even if I don’t particularly want to face what these difficult questions might mean.
Maybe it’s some sort of subconscious attempt my mind makes to try to find cohesion between my practice and my spiritual faith. Maybe not. Hell if I know.
Who is Lucifer/Satan (or your Luciferian figure) and who are they to you?
There are several figures within my faith who I honor as being Luciferian in nature, but the one I am primarily devoted to is an amalgamation of the adversarial archetype found within Abrahamic scripture—the Devil, Lucifer, Satan, Iblis—call him what you will.
To me, he is a symbol-made-god–a representation of the ideals I strive to reflect made real by my own hand and heart, but existing outside of myself all the same. He is humanity’s ingenuity and resilience, our unappeasable desire for more.
He is my own personal adversary, that small voice of dissatisfaction in the back of my mind that reminds me that I am not good enough yet—I am a work in progress. He is that same voice that urges me to better myself, to make myself worthy of him/Him. He is a reminder that nothing is immune to change, that I can allow myself to be destroyed or shaped by it, and that I am capable of initiating it by my own power.
He is Hope personified, the veiled god who dwells in the abyss amongst my sorrows and tragedies. He waits until my despair has turned to resignation, waits to see if I will confront my fears with nothing else to lose, waits to see if I will accept him as just another nightmare or seek the small spark of light hidden beneath that shroud.
He is the god that has given me some semblance of faith, even when he demands that I raze that conviction to the ground at every opportunity. He is the god I never would have thought to choose, but nonetheless have found myself sharing the heart of without regret.