Are you atheistic, agnostic, or theistic and why?
The short answer: Agnostic.
The long answer: Agnostic, but theistic by choice (Sort of. Maybe.)
I am too much of a skeptic to have total, unwavering confidence in Lucifer as an actual divine entity, and so my faith is rooted in Luciferianism as a practice, and as a set of ideals. It exists as such so that regardless of whether or not my god is able to be proven ‘real’, my faith remains secure and dependable.
However, I have chosen to honor Lucifer as the embodiment of my faith, as a liminal divinity made real (if only through my own thoughts). I have chosen to treat him as a god worthy of my devotion. I have chosen to be his, and I have allowed myself to find comfort in this belief that he exists apart from myself.
But ‘comfort’ is not a term or state of being that can easily find a foothold within Luciferianism. More often than not, it represents a sort of stagnation that inhibits the personal growth this belief system demands. And so, this choice to believe and find stability in the narrative that Lucifer actually exists is one that I must constantly reanalyze and reconstruct. My practice urges me to talk myself out of this belief, to find the weak spots within this narrative and use them to lay the truth bare.
If that wasn’t confusing enough as is, although I realize that it is ultimately my practice that prompts me to seek out these weak areas in my beliefs, I often find myself inspired to do so at each occasion by my god. I end up being challenged to look beyond who I perceive my god to be and what he represents, in forms I don’t think I would have come up with on my own. Even if I don’t particularly want to face what these difficult questions might mean.
Maybe it’s some sort of subconscious attempt my mind makes to try to find cohesion between my practice and my spiritual faith. Maybe not. Hell if I know.