Do you think luciferianism/satanism has changed part of you in a negative way?
I really love this question, because so often we expose the faults of other religions and faiths in defense of our own, and that can only take us so far. There comes a point where we need to to examine the shortcomings of our own paths as well.
I don’t love my response to it, but I suppose that’s the point of this as well—only when faced with my vulnerabilities can I ever hope to work past them.
Luciferianism, or rather public opinion of Luciferianism and similar faiths, has made me become incredibly self conscious about expressing any type of spiritual or religious belief outside of an anonymous platform such as this. Regardless of what I understand luciferianism to be, the reality is that it is a highly taboo practice for the majority of people, and there exists a negative stigma around all who lay claim to the faith. I live in constant fear of being ‘found out’ by friends and family, and am haunted by nightmares of such scenarios. I would love to pursue a degree in religious studies or theology, and dream of having a career in such a field, but this fear holds me back from doing so.
I find it incredibly depressing that I cannot share the single most important thing to me without this underlying sense of fear and shame coating the whole experience. I hate that I even feel any sort of public shame about my god, which in turn leads me to feel that he deserves so much more than me and what I have to give.
And maybe that last bit is also, ironically, what motivates me to try to improve who and what I am, for his sake if not mine.