An interesting question was brought to light after my post regarding the fusion of Lu’s emotions within my own. If I am doing his work and acting as his disciple as a direct effect of the strength of these emotions, how does free will come into play?
It’s an important inquiry, considering how central the issue of free will is to Lu’s ambitions.
Free will is a difficult concept, because it’s rarely as simple as (as the name implies) doing something of one’s own free will. Just because someone else isn’t directly putting your finger on the trigger doesn’t mean they can’t have had an influence on your decision to do so. So how am I able to say that my devotion to Lu and my furtherance of his Work is entirely my own decision, when I am so swayed by the force behind these emotions?
Because they are my emotions, albeit enhanced by my god. No one, not even a god, could have stirred such passions within me that didn’t already exist. All that could be done was coax an ember into a flame.
First I should probably describe how exactly my emotional link to Lu works. I’m hesitant to call it an ‘empathic’ link, because while it does share some characteristics of what other empaths have experienced, I am not an empath in the typical sense. I can’t ‘pick up’ on others’ feelings, I have a hard time understanding or imagining what someone might be going through during a particular emotional event that I myself have never experienced, nor do I feel everything Lu feels 24/7. There’s an area of resonance, so to speak.
For example, I don’t know what it feels like to have a brother become your ‘enemy’. I’m an only child, I’ve never had any sort of sibling relationship, much less a falling-out with a sibling. I can’t even imagine what Lu must have gone through, at war with his own family.
But I do know what it feels like to be wronged. I know the agony of defeat, of having everything important to you ripped away. It is shared sentiments like these that are fused together, my own amplified by Lu’s. It is then difficult for me to be ‘coerced’ into doing his Work, when I would still feel the same way (though perhaps not quite as strongly) in the absence of our link.
I can always refuse to do something he asks of me. I have before. I refused even though it pained me to do so, even though my heart said otherwise. I am not ruled by these emotions, much less denied my free will.
Free will is the ability to choose for ourselves. I have chosen this path, I have chosen this god, and I have chosen the consequences that come along with it, taking both my own feelings and Lu’s into consideration while not letting them be the deciding factors.